How To Hypnotize Yourself To Achieve Bigger Goals and Be More Confident
Linda Gerber returns to BEST MEDICINE to discuss how to set the right goals, defend yourself in arguments and hypnotize yourself for success and confidence
ON THIS EPISODE OF THE BEST MEDICINE PODCAST
Our Guest: Linda Gerber
Linda Gerber is a world-class success and speaking coach.
She is also my dearest sister!
I'm so happy to announce that we both had such fun her first two times on the show (here) and (here)
That we've decided to begin a regular segment!
One of my great goals with this podcast is to bring together a discourse on SOCIAL health. As you might have noticed by there much of that includes big picture historical, political, economic and philosophical analysis. But much of that will include empowering individuals.
Obviously I enjoy bringing knowledge on physical health to my patients to empower them. But together with Linda I believe we can create a powerful toolkit for psychological empowerment.
All the philosophy talk is terrific, but if we can't ground our great ideas in the minds of people who know how to implement them successfully then we're not finishing our job.
I hope you enjoy these regular segments and find something you can use in your daily life to be happier, more ethical, more successful, more efficient, and understand social situations better.
All Speech is Hypnosis
Anything you do repeatedly will effect who you are and who you become.
If you want to be in great physical shape you have to exercise, sleep well and eat healthy foods consistently for a long time.
But there is one habit we have that is so foundational that if we mess it up we will rarely be able to accomplish ANYTHING.
The habit is: speech.
The way we speak to others and the way we speak to ourselves is the key bedrock upon which all other success will be built upon.
In fact, I'd say all speech is hypnosis.
When we repeatedly speak to others in a certain way - it impacts the way they behave around us. That's hypnosis.
More importantly, the way we speak to ourselves has the same effect.
Luckily, Linda and I are experts in this domain and spend this whole episode (the first of a series) discussing the correct ways to speak to ourselves and others to ensure success.
In fact, we're working on a book to capture all of the techniques we use to speak effectively.
Here I'll share 2 of those principles, which are also discussed in the episode.
How to Pick The Right Goal
The first principle of speech is learning to speak to ourselves properly.
In fact, the way we speak to ourselves can be defined as only honest or dishonest.
This is the key to understanding our identity - who we are now and who we'd like to become.
If we lie to ourselves, or manipulate ourselves then we are not being authentic in our own minds. There will be no way to manifest authenticity in the real world.
Imagine trying to become successful in the world when you can't even be honest to yourself in your own head!
When we set out on a journey to DO something big - we are also setting out on a journey to BECOME someone more.
The most critical elements of this are:
- Believing we are the kind of person who CAN transform in to this bigger, better, smarter version
- Believing the goal we're setting is a worthy one for us
Many people will choose goals that reflect their inauthenticity with themselves.
Linda used the example of weight loss in the episode. If you're a 40 year old obese person you can set 4 kinds of goals:
- I would like to become an Olympian by the time I'm 41
- I would like to lose 80 pounds and stop being pre-diabetic
- I would like to just be able to walk
- I do not want to change
Only one of these goals can possibly be hoenst.
There is a 0% possibility of becoming an Olympian at the age of 41 - let alone if you're a recovering obese person. Setting this as a goal is a form of self-sabotage. You are lying to yourself about what's possible.
Simply being able to walk is a low-bar. I refuse to believe the only thing you genuinely want out of life is to walk.
Someone who is months away from becoming diabetic is also lying to themselves when they say they don't want to change. This flavor of fat acceptance is pure self-manipulation.
Only Goal #2 is legitimate in this case. It is an audacious goal - it's TOUGH. But it's also in the realm of what's possible and what would bring a substantial amount of practical reward and pleasure.
When you pick goals - be sure to pick something you genuinely WANT. Give yourself permission to want something aspirational. You are allowed to want to become a millionaire, for instance.
When the goal of "I want to be a millionaire" transforms into "I want to be the richest man on Earth," it's rooted in greed and delusion. To believe you want something that can not happen is a form of lying to yourself. When you lie to yourself you can not find success externally.
Internal truth (Gnosis) and external truth (Veritas) must line up to define the "possible."
Hypnotizing Yourself and Defending Your Self From Negativity
Once you've picked your goal, we now must manifest it.
We must hypnotize ourselves into succeeding
And we must also protect ourselves from the negative crabs, trying to pull you into a bucket.
Some (not all) people will try to demotivate you, abuse you, manipulate you into serving goals that are counter to yours, or just be plain 'ole annoying.
You are a person, therefor it's possible you might do these things to yourself from time to time.
To deal with this we must learn 2 basic arts, which Linda and I hope to expand about in our forthcoming book and podcast episodes.
- Verbal Street Fighting
To start, the key to both is recognizing the old saying from 12-step programs.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.
To apply this, let me ask you a question:
Have you ever seen that Snickers Candy Advertisement, "You're not you when you're hungry"
If someone tries to have a tough conversation with you when you're hungry, it's unlikely you'll bring your best self to that discussion. You might say something you regret.
This is the critical point to understand about self-hypnosis and verbal street fighting.
You must focus on your realistic, achievable goal. You can use affirmations, visualizations, daily systems/habits, or whatever works best for you. But at the end of the day, your ability to believe in yourself is based on one thing: How well you function. If you function poorly because of poor diet, poor sleep, poor exercise, poor hydration, etc - then you will begin to disbelieve in your ability to achieve your goals.
You will be inflamed, hungover, tired, hangry, brain-fogged, thirsty, irritable, and stressed. Your cortisol will rise and your nervous system will become imbalanced.
But if you sleep well, exercise adequately, and eat healthy foods you enjoy - then your neuro-chemistry, physical abilities, and mindset will all be primed to function well and feel great.
In a state of health and homeostasis you are most suited to believe in the audacious goals you set for yourself.
You can not control the behavior of other people, so the art of verbal street fighting requires us to invert this principle.
When people are bringing negativity, abuse and manipulation to your presence it could be for one of two reasons:
- They are not self-hypnotizing well and are victims of their own poor life skills/lifestyle
- They ARE handling themselves well and have opposing interests to you.
It is best to be aware of which category someone falls into.
If they are the former, perhaps your verbal street fighting can be more gentle and infrequent. Perhaps your pleasantness will inspire them to reform their ways (this is unlikely, but a nice thought).
If they are the later, then it is best to deal with them firmly and limit contact with them, lest they become enemies.
The number one technique I can advise right now is to simply realize that your speech can be deliberate.
In negative social scenarios we are often tempted to either shut down, or say the first hting that comes to mind.
This is because we often choose to take the attack personally.
But note above that in the first type of person they are a victim of their own life problems (and are taking it out on you). And in the second type of person they are of opposing interests to you - so it's merely business, not a personal affair.
If you realize that in both cases it's "nothing personal," then you are free to be more deliberate about your reactions. You understand the other person's state a bit better, and you can choose from a number of tools for how best to respond.
I hope to get into those tools in future episodes with Linda and in our forthcoming book.
Thank you for tuning in to this new segment.
I'm very interested in the arts of hypnosis, persuasion, mindset, relationship and inter-personal politics.
I believe its an area of life we've not been taught well about.
This is a critical part of SOCIAL health.
If we knew how to use speech to gain power and success then our entire society might look very different!
Hence, it is not taught in schools (at least not public ones, rich private schools will often still offer rhetoric, debate, strategy and leadership courses).
It's ALSO a critical part of PERSONAL health to understand how we can use simple speech to become a better person, and to protect ourselves from the stresses of the social world.
If you enjoy the show, or this blog post, and would like them emailed directly to you - please sign up for my SUBSTACK here!
It's completely free, and always will be (at least for updates on the podcast!)
Dr Bradley Werrell